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45 of 365: Happy Valentine’s Day ♥

Love is nice. And setting a day aside each year to force people to celebrate it can’t be a bad thing.

We go through our days on auto-pilot, so it’s nice to get shaken out of our reverie every now and then. Our birthday’s offer the same break from dullsville. And we’ve got Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, New Year’s Eve. All good opportunities to feel the love and feel some joy.

I know that a lot of people moan about how Valentine’s Day is just one great big commercial enterprise that should be banned immediately because greed is bad and chocolate manufacturers are exploiting us. But we could say the same about every celebration. Someone, somewhere, is making sales. But isn’t that what makes the world go around?

We shouldn’t let commercialism turn us into a miserable, cynical lot. Love is never wrong. And if Valentine’s Day gives us permission to demonstrate it, then so be it.

My partner and I will be celebrating our love via the sharing of choc-chip hot cross buns. See that, we get two festivities rolled into one!

So to all those out there who love love – have yourselves a magical day ♥     

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38 of 365: I love you. Let’s live apart.

Are men and women really suited to living together under the same roof? After years of doing just that, I don’t really think so. Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton have got the right idea – be a couple but live separately.

I always say to my partner that when we’re rich, we’re going to get 2 separate abodes built that are joined at the bedroom. He can live in his half and make as much mess as he wants. Mess that I don’t have to live in; don’t have to see; don’t have to care about; and, most importantly, don’t have to clean up.

He uses our chairs as his wardrobe. The area under the dining table for his boots and shoes. The kitchen bench as a spot for his scrap bits of paper, his unopened mail, his loose change, his glasses, sunglasses, iPod, keys. If someone comes over, I often have to move stuff so they can sit down. He has an entire room of his own to do with what he pleases, yet he still uses the whole house as his dumping ground. It’s as if he hates to see an empty space.

He leaves food crumbs on the carpet. He treads dirt and grass clippings inside. He uses the kitchen sink to wash stuff (not clothes, just man-stuff), that he should be using the laundry sink for. He gets drops of water everywhere, steps in it then leaves a trail of dirty dots all over the floor.

Not even gonna mention the toilet.

He never, ever cleans up after himself. If he gets something out of a cupboard, it stays out. He’s like a child who leaves a trail of toys behind him and then never retraces his steps to put anything away. He must have never had to do it when he was young.

He’s got 2 sisters and a brother. Whilst the girls were being trained in the way of the domestic slave, he and his brother were free to do whatever they wanted. Grrrrr. Drives me mad. Now I have to pay for his parents’ sexism.

I’m a neat person. All my stuff is in appropriate places. I get so very tired of cleaning up after him but if I didn’t we’d be on the next episode of ‘Hoarders’. I like space and room. I hate clutter and things in front of windows. I’m not a shopper so I don’t buy things just for the sake of having them.

The irony is, his parents are hoarders and it drove him mad! He resented how every space in their house got taken over by crap. They had a billiard table which they managed to use for a few weeks before it got used as a storage area for old newspapers and pot plants. That table continues to serve as a final resting place for all manner of unneeded things.

Yet he can’t help himself. No amount of begging and pleading from me over the years has seen him clean up his act. It’s just not a focus in his life. Mess simply doesn’t register. It’s as if he really can’t see it. In fact, he sometimes seemed surprised when I finally crack and demand, yes demand, that he put his stuff away. He gets quite affronted! For him, placing his stuff anywhere that is convenient for him to get at is logical and reasonable. He doesn’t comprehend that it’s actually inconsiderate.

He doesn’t even cook to make up for his lack of domestic pride!

He’s an intelligent man. He’s thoughtful in many ways. We love each other. This is why we still share our lives. But I’d be more than happy to continue that sharing from our own separate wings.

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‘The Universe’ – according to me.

‘The Universe’. That source of energy to which we are all connected. That source of energy that is our soul. That source of energy that we can call upon for guidance and inspiration. That source of energy that needs our physical incarnation for its own growth and learning and expansion. That source of energy which, I believe, is becoming more and more misunderstood and misinterpreted the more ‘popular’ it gets.

A lot has been written about the Universe and its role in our physical lives. And a lot of those writings tend to suggest that the Universe is actually quite conditional. If you do certain things, you will be rewarded. If you don’t, you’ll continually miss out.

In order to attract what we want, the conditions are: think positive and visualise every day what you want. It may take a while to manifest, but keep it up and never falter. Make sure your sub-conscious mind doesn’t contain any ideas or thinking that may over-ride your true desires or you’ll manifest those instead. It’s easier to manifest what you don’t want than what you do want because, it seems, that positive things take ages to attract but negative ones manifest instantly! Negative thoughts cancel out positive thoughts super-fast so be very careful what you think. Practise gratitude otherwise things won’t go your way.

I gotta tell ya, none of that resonates with me, one iota. To me, the Universe is love. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is not conditional, judgemental, or petty. Just love.

The Universe knows the challenges we face here on this physical, material plane. It knows that we make choices and decisions based on our fears, insecurities, and doubts. It knows we often compromise ourselves to ensure our survival. It knows we sometimes struggle with life and can feel pretty down about it. It knows we get exhausted if the things we want continually elude us. Why would it judge us for having a range of emotions? Why would it punish us for yelling in despair when things don’t go our way? It understands the human condition and would not tease us or torment us and make our life hard or unhappy or just plain miserable if we have days when we can’t hold a smile or we give up on our dreams.

When writers describe the Universe and its laws, the information is filtered through the limited human brain and conveyed via our limited human language. To fill the pages of a book, our human aspect has tried to make logical sense of a thing that can’t be adequately explained. The Universe, and our connection to it, is a thing we innately feel and innately understand. Don’t get me wrong, books and inspirational sayings are a great way to remind us of our spiritual selves, but I worry about some of the messages and ideas that are out there.

The Universe does not sense me in a bad mood and say, “You aren’t being grateful so therefore you can’t have the things you desire and your life will be long and hard.” It understands human emotion so it says, “I love you.”

It doesn’t sense me thinking negative thoughts and say, “You need to think positive in order for anything good to come to you. You will never receive what you desire if you keep that up.” It says, “I love you.”

It doesn’t say, “You will need to really put in a lot of effort and stay positive for ages to build up good energy and eventually what you desire or hope to achieve will be yours.” It says, “I love you.”

It doesn’t sense me struggling to hold that positive thought and says, “The moment you let that positive thought slip, you will cancel out any good energy you’ve built up so what you want will not manifest and you’ll have to start again.” It says, “I love you.”

For me, the Universe does not determine what I do or don’t have based on my mood or attitude.  Having a positive attitude and being grateful are wonderful things and our lives are better when we smile and share and love. But if we can’t always manage that, the Universe is fine with that. It knows that our humanness needs love and not judgement and so that is what it provides. It doesn’t say, “Tut, tut. You’re feeling low and I can’t have that now, can I? Snap out of it or I’ll really give you something to cry about.” It says, “I love you.”

And you know what, Universe – I love you too.